The last time I had a six-pack I was 112 pounds and 12% body fat, and I was starving all the time. I am now 123 pounds and about 17% body fat, which is a pretty decent number for a woman – I do not have a six-pack – but I do get to eat cake when I feel like it. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted more mass. So I had to eat more food and worry less about having a six-pack which meant I had to get my behavior on the same page as my expectations. I came to a point where performance was more important to me than the six-pack. If you do not get your behavior and expectations to match up you are going to suffer and you will probably miss out on all the amazing progress you’re actually making. If all you care about is vanity fitness (meaning you want to look good at any cost) then your approach is going to be very different from someone who is interested in holistic functional fitness (training your mind and muscles to work together for better work-capacity in real world situations). I am not a vanity fitness coach. I could tell you how to train for vanity but I don’t like it. I believe in holistic functional fitness. I also believe when a person feels strong in their body they will be smart, powerful, sexy, beautiful, confident, ass-kicking and ready to take on the world. In my humble opinion each and every one of us should be striving for sustainability in our health and fitness, in order to do this you need to drop the yoyo diets and fad fitness programs. I encourage everyone to learn to let go of the self-shaming that is inevitably weighing you down. Lighten the emotional load on yourself and find peace and joy in the fact that you can get fit, have fun, be happy and enjoy being alive rather than sweating the shape of your thighs or a number on the scale. Life is way too damn short for all that nonsense.